My wife has never planned one of our trips, and she loves it. In fact, it’s the secret to our stress-free adventures. The system is simple: each year, one of us picks the destination (she chooses on the even years, I choose on the odd), and I handle every single detail. For me, travel planning isn’t just a task; it’s my passion. I get the thrill of the logistics, and I get to surprise her with the daily itinerary, which I reveal the night before each adventure.
This approach has been key to a happy partnership and amazing getaways. It works because I genuinely love the process, and it frees her from the minute-to-minute details that create stress and frustration. She gets to share her must-sees and must-dos, things like “I want to see the Cliffs of Moher” or “I want to do some shopping in the small towns” and I take it from there.
For certain decisions, like picking hotels, we collaborate. I can go pretty cheap, but she appreciates a bit more class, so we work together to find that happy medium. It’s a perfect balance of collaboration and surprise, and it works for us every time.
So, let’s pull back the curtain on my process. Our next big trip is to the United Kingdom, and I’m taking you along as I share what I do to plan our journey.
My Research Process: From Inspiration to Itinerary
Once we decide on a destination, the very first thing we do is book the plane tickets. Since we use credit card points to travel, we have to be flexible with our dates. We look for the best points deal, and that’s how we determine our travel window and how long we’ll be gone. We try to make our bigger trips 10 to 14 days, but you should always do what works for your schedule.
With the flights booked, my first step is to dive into getting our inspiration on what to do. I’ll watch at least 10 YouTube videos on “Things to see in the UK” and then get even more specific by searching for each country we’ll visit, like “What to do in Scotland” or “Top places to visit in Ireland.” I’m not just watching; I’m taking notes on anything that looks cool, whether it’s a well-known landmark or a spot off the beaten path that catches my eye. This starts the conversation for us and gets us excited as we talk about the kind of vacation we want: cities, countryside, hiking, shopping, or in our case, all of the above.
Once I have a good overview, I dive deeper. I’ll turn to travel blogs, searching for things like “10 Best Things to Do in Wales” or “Top 15 Places in Northern Ireland” to build a comprehensive list of destinations and activities. Then, for a more personal look, I’ll move to Instagram reels. They’re perfect for getting a short burst of information on each place I search. And finally for the true local experience, I turn to Reddit. This is where I get specific, searching for “food in Edinburgh” or “Dublin street food” to find hidden gems, local shopping spots, and get a true sense of the city’s vibe from people who actually live there.
Booking the Tours: Experiences Over Things
Once I have my list of must-dos and all the cool things to see and do, I get to my favorite part: finding tours and activities. I use my three go-to websites, GetYourGuide, Klook, and Airbnb Experiences, to find tours that can knock out multiple items on my list. For example, a bike tour can often incorporate a lot of the stops we already have planned, while a walking or food tour can tie together certain areas. This is the best way to combine sightseeing with an experience. The key is to look for things you’ll both enjoy, whether it’s a cooking class, a dance lesson, or something you wouldn’t normally do. If you have no idea where to start, searching for tours in the area is a fantastic first step.
Klook.comWe’ve done back-to-back tours before, and it was awesome. While it’s important to find your style and energy as a couple, I highly recommend stepping outside your comfort zone. We did a pasta-making class in Rome, and while my wife doesn’t cook, we had an amazing time making noodles together. We still talk about that delicious meal and the memories we made in the heart of Rome.
Pro Tip: You can always look up a high-end tour company’s full itinerary for inspiration also if you are looking for ideas, and add some of their stops into your plans. Do what brings you together and doesn’t add more stress. If you’re both terrible with directions or scared of driving in a foreign country, then use Uber, take bus tours, or book the train.
Connecting the Dots: Mapping Out the Trip
You’ve probably heard that AI can plan your trip for you, but as a planner, you know the truth: AI only gives you a high-level list of generic tourist spots. It doesn’t know your vibe, your partner, or the magic that makes a trip truly yours. This is where the human touch comes in, it’s about knowing your spouse so well that you can create an experience they didn’t even know they wanted.
With all my lists of fun things to do, cool places, and must-sees, the next step is to organize it all before mapping. This is where I build my tiered list. I categorize everything into three groups: the “A” list holds the non-negotiable, must-do experiences; the “B” list is for things I’d love to do but aren’t essential; and the “C” list is for extras that can be easily missed. For our UK trip, for example, my wife’s A-list items for Ireland included Blarney Castle, a Dublin bike tour, and the Cliffs of Moher. These core experiences are the anchors we build the entire itinerary around.
Once I have the “A’s” locked in, I start mapping them out. The general plan for our UK trip is to rent a car in Dublin and drive around the west coast to Northern Ireland, then fly to Scotland. From there, we’ll drive south through the Scottish Highlands, then on to Wales for a soccer game, and finally to England. My job is to plot these key stops and then fill in the gaps with the B’s and C’s as time and location allow. This is where the real planning begins. I map out the drive, checking for high-traffic times and the cost of tolls, because a great idea can fall apart once you see the true travel time or cost. Making all these pieces fit together is a tough job until you have my secret weapon.
The Secret Weapon: The Wanderlog App
Once I have my main list, I lay it all out in my secret weapon: the Wanderlog app. I used to use the Notes app and Google spreadsheets, but this app has been a complete game changer. I can put everything on my list for a specific city, like Edinburgh, and it will show me everything on a map and in a list. I can move things around, put them in a logical order, and see the exact direction we’re heading. If something doesn’t line up, we adjust or eliminate it. This has helped me avoid building a Google Map that always hits its destination limit. While the Wanderlog app has a cost, it is worth every penny.
As you can see, it’s so seamless. It shows how far things are by car, walking, or public transit, and it allows me to realistically plan an entire day by accounting for the time we’ll spend at each location. One thing to always remember: things open later and close earlier in many parts of the world. Pay attention to the daylight you have, as some places are much harder to navigate at night.
This might sound overwhelming, but for me, this is the part that gets me excited. The truth is, you can do so much with good planning, and I learned that the hard way. I wasn’t always a planner. I used to just say, “We will figure things out when we get there,” but then you show up and things are all booked, or you miss something along the way. I once drove right past one of the 7 wonder of the worlds because I didn’t even know it was there and I did not plan ahead. Ever since then, I make sure to look up everything we want to do and know exactly what needs to be booked ahead of time, from tours and museums to restaurants and activities.
Once I get the itinerary mapped in Wanderlog, I start adding the details: the car rental and the hotels or Airbnbs. Pay for things now to keep expenses down so it all doesn’t hit at the end. Also check out what travel essentials we need for every trip we take.
Make it Once in a Lifetime Trip.
I’ll never forget the time we had a 24-hour layover in London. People told us, “Oh, that sucks, you only have 24 hours,” but I saw it as a blessing. I thought, “You mean we have 24 hours in London!” In that single day, we did a four-hour bike tour of the top 20 must-see sights, took a boat tour, rode the London Eye, visited Borough Market for lunch, walked the Tower Bridge, watched the sunset from the Sky Garden, and went on a late-night Jack the Ripper tour. We did it all because we had a plan.
That commitment to a plan is why we call every trip a “Once in a Lifetime Trip.” We say this because each adventure is precious, and we are grateful for the health and time we have together. Things on your trip will inevitably change, and they won’t be perfect. Some of our best memories are the things that were unplanned, but that doesn’t mean you should only plan one thing and “explore.” Under-planning can lead to exploring the wrong area, missing the best food, or not getting enough time in the right places. Planning is simply the key to creating a great adventure together.
This isn’t a “relax and do nothing” vacation. This is a go-go adventure, a thrilling way to see the world together, one perfectly imperfect trip at a time. It gets you excited, and it makes the journey feel real.. Ultimately, this leads to my final piece of advice: The secret to a happy marriage is always having a trip booked, whether it’s a big vacation or a weekend getaway. If you’re reading this and thinking that sounds amazing, but your spouse doesn’t like to travel, then my advice is simple: grab your friends, or even take your adult kid or a parent if they’re still around. The adventure doesn’t have to wait. Do Something!
To help you get started, I’ve created a free Quick Start Guide to Trip Planning that includes a downloadable checklist to make your first step easy.
