The empty nest is a bittersweet milestone for many parents, mixed emotions of freedom and a touch of melancholy. You’ve helped them launch into adult independence, celebrating their wins and offering support through their struggles. But what happens when your “adult” child circles back, expressing a desire to move back home?

Breathe. This doesn’t signify failure on either end. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes adult children face unexpected challenges – job losses, relationship breakdowns, financial difficulties – with the housing marketing right now, how can they even afford a place to stay. They are just looking for a temporary retreat to a familiar ground. While navigating this situation can be tricky, with open communication and clear expectations, it can also be an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. This is what we call them, “Boomerang Kids”.

I put together some crucial steps to take to help you through the process if you child decides to move back home:

1. Understand the “Why”

Openly discuss their reasons for wanting to return. Is it temporary or long-term? What challenges are they facing? This understanding will guide your response and set realistic expectations.

2. Set Ground Rules:

Discuss the duration of their stay, financial contributions (if any), household chores, and respect for individual boundaries. Clear communication upfront prevents resentment and confusion down the line. And pray it is not your boy…he will make your grocery bill double. 🙂

3. Foster Independence:

Don’t regress into parent mode. Encourage them to actively seek solutions to their challenges, be it job hunting, financial planning, or emotional support. Your role is to guide, not enable.

4. Open Communication:

Regularly chat about how things are going. Are the initial agreements working? Do adjustments need to be made? Remember, flexibility is key, but don’t let it morph into an indefinite arrangement.

5. Remember, You’re Not Alone:

This situation is more common than you think. Talk to friends, family, or therapists for support and guidance. Sharing experiences can alleviate stress and offer valuable perspectives.

Keep these emotional considerations in mind:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

It’s natural to have mixed emotions – excitement, concern, even annoyance. Validate your feelings and express them openly and honestly with your child.

2. Embrace the Time Together:

View this as an opportunity to deepen your relationship with your adult child, albeit in a different dynamic. Share meals, engage in activities, and create new memories.

3. Prioritize Self-Care:

Don’t let your needs get lost in the shuffle. Ensure you have time for activities you enjoy, maintain your friendships, and prioritize your well-being.

Remember, this is a temporary chapter, not a rewrite of your empty nest story. By approaching it with empathy, clear communication, and realistic expectations, you can help your boomerang kid and strengthen your bond for years to come because you never know if they will need to come back again. Everything with food, housing, and life is so expensive and we need to shift our thought process and be open to change if needed, but not open to be walked over.

And lastly, a gentle reminder: Every family dynamic is unique. This advice is meant as a starting point, not a one-size-fits-all solution. Trust your instincts, communicate openly, and above all, remember that even when life throws curveballs, your love and support are the strongest foundation your child could ask for.